


Forget Me Not

by BellarmyBlake



Series: It's Enough [20]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Memory Loss, Multichapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 03:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3365825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellarmyBlake/pseuds/BellarmyBlake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: How about Killian over hears Snow and Emma talk about Neal and Killian believes that Emma wants him back so he goes to Regina and asks her to take his memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

_"He's Henry's father, Emma."_

_"I know."_

_"The least you could do is give him a chance."_

_"I **know**."_

Killian had heard enough. Again he was being passed over for another. Again, Bae had won. Of course she'd choose him. Who wouldn't? A respectable young man with whom you share a child, or a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem. The choice is easy.

It didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Because it did. More than he ever thought it would. He'd gotten too close, got too invested, just like with Milah. And now look what happened.

He was done. This time, he was really done with Emma stringing him along until she didn't need him anymore. Done with his heart being yanked out of his chest every time he saw her.

He pounded on the door of the Mayor's house, begging to whoever was listening that she was home. Indeed, not a minute later, the door opened, and a very surprised Regina stood in the doorway. "Captain!" she said. "What can I help you with?"

"I need you to take my memories away." he said, not waiting any longer to lengthen his pain. He couldn't risk that he would back out.

"What?"

"Everything. From the moment I met Emma in that blasted Enchanted Forest. I want to forget everything like you did with Emma and Henry. Make me forget her."

Regina blinked a few times. "Okay, just come in for a moment." She let him in and led him to her office. "Sit down." She gestured to a chair. "What happened?"

"She chose him. Neal. She chose Neal. That's one too many times that I'm being passed over, one too many times I got hurt. I'm done."

Regina bit her lip. "And you're sure this is what you want?"

"Yes."

Regina rose, taking a step closer to him. "Alright."

**-CS-**

Emma wandered the streets, searching for the one she was looking for, the one that stole her heart and never gave it back. She had no idea where he could be, all the obvious places were already crossed off the list.

She'd finally made her choice. She finally knew who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. All she had to do was find him.

She passed Regina's home at the moment the door opened and the man she was looking for appeared. "Killian!" she exclaimed, running towards him and flinging herself in his arms, giving him no other choice than to catch her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry it took so long. It's you,it's always been you."

Killian took her arms and pulled her off gently, looking at her with bright blue eyes filled with innocence. "I'm sorry, milady, do I know you?"

Her world collapsed.


	2. Part 2

"Killian, don't joke. Of course you know me." she said softly.

"Miss, I do apologize, but I've never met you before. Miss Mills?" he called back into the house and Regina appeared, her face turning ash white when she saw Emma. "I think this woman isn't feeling well."

Emma gaped at Killian and Regina, her heart breaking into a million pieces as she stood there not understanding anything. "Regina, what is going on?" she asked, her voice small and desperate. She wanted Killian, but this wasn't him. This wasn't the man she loved.

Regina turned even whiter. "I - I took his memories away."

Emma pulled away from Killian completely and turned to Regina. "You did WHAT?!"

"He asked me to! He said you chose Neal, he just wanted to forget, he was so desperate." she said apologetically.

"Miss Mills, what is going on?" Killian asked confused.

"So is this his cursed persona?"

"No. He just doesn't remember ever meeting you, just like you and Henry." Regina rubbed her face. "But you didn't choose Neal, did you?"

Emma shook her head, her heart shattering more and more each second, and she felt like crying. "I chose him. I will always choose him. Undo it."

"Miss Mills, I apologize, but I have somewhere to be. Oceans to traverse, the likes." Killian smirked, before turning around to leave. Emma started to panic.

Regina's eyes widened, before she waved her hand. "Sorry, Captain, you're not going anywhere. Inside, both of you, now." Killian said nothing, going in obediently, Emma following suit. "I don't understand this, Emma." Regina said, when they were all seated in her office. "How did he get the idea that you chose Neal?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know. But you need to give him his memories back. I want my pirate back."

"Hold on,  _your_  pirate? Excuse me, Miss, but I don't seem to know you!" Killian exclaimed indignantly, trying to get up to leave, but finding it impossible to move. "What on earth is going on?!"

"Captain, this woman is very important to you. So important that you chose to forget her when you thought she'd left you for good." Regina explained calmly.

"But...I don't understand. I don't remember anything I'd want to forget..." His eyes lit up. "Oh."

"Yes. And now I'm trying to recover your memories. But I don't know how. Yet. I've been trying to figure it out. It may take a while."

"Whatever. I'm gonna go, now." Killian said, and made a move to stand. "Come on, Regina!" he yelled when he still couldn't move. Regina waved her hand again, and to Emma's surprise, he slumped together as if he'd fallen asleep. Just as she was about to ask what Regina'd done, the latter continued.

"I'm going to need you to watch him for a few days, while I figure this mess out." Emma looked sceptical. "Listen, he can't leave. If he does, he won't come back. He now remembers that after he met with Snow, Aurora, Phillip and Mulan, he found his way to this land and help save it many a times. He doesn't remember you. You're wiped out of his existence."

Emma felt a tear drip from her eye. Ironic really. Just like he'd been when she was in New York. She remembered not knowing him. It was terrifying. "Fine."

Regina nodded, smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry for this mess. How about I make the past half hour disappear and you can be introduced properly?"

Meet Killian again? As if they'd never met before? Only the thought made Emma shiver. She would find it so hard to live with it. But she would have to. "Okay. You sure that's safe, though?"

"Perfectly." Regina assured her, leaning over to place her hand over Emma's. "Don't worry. I'll make him remember you." Emma nodded, gathered all her courage, and then Killian woke up as if nothing happened. He looked right through her.

"Captain, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. Emma Swan. She's...the sheriff." Regina said quickly. "She's been ill for the past few months." she added when Killian looked confused.

Killian's eyes fell on Emma and they lit up, as if he was seeing something exquisite. "Hello, Miss Swan." he said in that seductive tone of his, and he rose to his feet to kiss her hand. "Killian Jones. But most people know me by my more colourful moniker. Hook." Same introduction. It was weird.

Emma tried to smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Captain Jones." she said, her voice small and trembling. God, what an impression she must be making, but she couldn't stop herself from betraying the hurt she felt. She'd lost one of the most important people in her life, but what was worse is that that person was still here. Just didn't remember her. "I hear you've had quite a lot of adventures." she continued, putting on her best bail bonds poker face.

"Indeed I have, milady." Killian said, grinning devilishly, making her heart pound.

"I love adventures! Will you tell me about them?" she asked, in her most excited tone. She'd been acting for the guys she'd chased for years. It was surprising how hard it was now.

Killian displayed his signature smirk, hiding all kinds of innuendos behind it. "I would love to, milady. How about I take you for a drink at Granny's? My treat?"

Now Emma genuinely smiled. No matter what memories he missed, he never passed up the opportunity to flirt. "I'd like that very much, Captain." He offered her his hand in another gallant gesture, and she accepted it.

"Oh, Miss Swan, before you go: I'll do that thing we discussed as soon as possible." Regina said, before she let them go. Emma nodded, hoping to God and whoever else was out there that she'd find a solution fast.

It was weird to be around him without him remembering her, because he remembered  _everything else_. Ruby, Granny, even Henry. It was like his mind was circumventing everything about her. As if she were a rock in the middle of a flowing river, and the water just flowed around her, never quite touching her. It hurt like hell.

"So, miss Swan...tell me something about yourself. Sexual preference, perhaps?"

Emma, who had just taken a swig of her beer, coughed as she almost choked on it. "Excuse me?"

Killian smirked. "Pirate." he said, by way of explanation.

Emma shook her head, unable to force a smile back from her face. This was the Killian she knew, all innuendos and sexuality. "I'm not nearly drunk enough for this, Captain Jones."

Killian licked his lower lip, his piercing blue eyes watching her actions intently. "Mmm..." he said. "It's too early to get drunk. My best mate, David, would murder me if I got drunk now."

But if he didn't remember her, how was she going to explain her relationship to David to him? What an awful, awful mess this was, one she didn't see an out of. "Well, we could always meet up again tonight. David is a friend of mine as well, he's been covering the station while I was ill. I need to talk to him anyway."

Killian smirked, leaning forward. His closeness would've been inappropriate if they had indeed just met, but Emma didn't shy away from it at all. She was familiar with him. "Alright, love. Tonight it is, then. I'll tell you all of my stories then. And you have to tell me something about yourself, too. No fair leaving a gentleman guessing."

Emma snorted. "Since when are you a gentleman?"

Killian rose, offered her his hand and pulled her up against him, kissing her hand softly. "I'm always a gentleman, love." he whispered. "See you tonight." He left her in Granny's, and she sagged back into her seat, tired and feeling ready to cry.

"Emma?" She opened her eye. Ruby was standing in front of her. "What was that? It looked like he didn't know you."

Emma nodded. "That's because he doesn't." She summarized the story a bit, and Ruby was swooning by the end of it.

"That's so romantic! Horrible, but romantic. He was so hurt because he thought you didn't choose him, so he took his memories away. Poor guy." She had her hands clasped over her heart and she sighed dramatically.

"It's not fun at all. It's painful." Emma informed the wolf girl, and Ruby's face changed from dreamy to serious.

"I know. Sorry. I hope Regina finds a cure."

Emma gathered up her things and rose, sighing miserably. This couldn't get any worse. The love of her life didn't remember her. She couldn't handle this, couldn't stand the pain it caused. It also scared her. Because this was the first time since Neal that anyone could hurt her like this. Killian had found his way deep into her heart, and now she was heartbroken. Again. Fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos feed my muse, and she's a hungry lass. If you would take a moment, it'd make my day!


	3. Part 3

Weeks passed, and Killian didn't regain his memory.

But Emma found something shocking. Even though he didn't remember her, they got along perfectly. They had lunch together everyday, during which they talked about everything and nothing. Even though she knew most of his story, she still liked hearing him talk, hearing him open up to her.

And he still could read her like an open book.

They became increasingly close, especially when he applied for deputy and Regina hired him (Emma wasn't sure if it was guilt for not being able to find a cure yet). Now they spent nearly all of their time together, and Emma found it less and less disturbing everyday that Killian didn't remember their previous life together. He was still Killian. He was still the leather-clad pirate with a hook for a hand and innuendos to spare.

"Is everything alright, love?" he asked from across the room. His feet were propped up on his desk while he read through some paperwork, but he'd put them down to watch her. "You look distracted."

Indeed, she'd been thinking about Killian with his memories. How he'd sacrificed everything for her. Would this Killian do the same thing? "Sorry. My mind must've wandered off."

"Pleasant thoughts? Perhaps of a certain pirate with not much on his body other than a striking grin?" he said with a smirk.

Emma laughed. "You wish, Jones." She'd taken to calling him 'Jones', to keep a certain distance. He wasn't Hook anymore, but if she'd started calling him 'Killian', he'd get too close, and she couldn't handle that without his memories intact.

"You're increasingly distracted today." Killian said, pulling her out of her thoughts yet again. He kicked himself away from the desk and rose to go to the coffee machine that he'd somehow gotten to work. He was adapting more and more. He made her a steaming cup of hot chocolate and sprinkled some cinnamon on it. He knew her too well. "Here you go. To clear your head."

"Thanks." she murmured, taking the cup in her hands and staring at it. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the ones you love don't remember you?" What the hell? Why did she say that? Shit, shit, shit, why wasn't her filter working?

Killian frowned, studying her face closely. "Why do you ask, love?"

"Well - " she said, frantically looking for an explanation. " - I was just wondering because the first curse wiped all of their memories away. Snow couldn't remember her own husband and vice versa. I was just wondering what it would be like. Not being remembered by the one you love." He knew. The old Killian did anyway. And now she did too. It hurt like hell.

"I think it would be very painful. Watching the one you love carry about their lives and not remembering you...I think it would hurt a lot."

You don't say? she wanted to say sarcastically, but she bit her tongue.

"But I also think it could be good - in a sense. You could get to know a person from a completely different perspective." He was staring at her now, his eyes a bit dull as if he was looking past her.

Emma blinked. That was exactly what'd happened in her case. She'd gotten to know a completely different Killian. "Interesting." she murmured, taking a sip.

Killian shook his head, his clear blue eyes regaining the light. "How about dinner tonight? Got any plans?"

Henry was with Regina, so no, she didn't. Henry...one of the things that hurt equally as much as Killian not remembering her; her having to act as if Henry wasn't her son when Killian was around. It was awful. "Sure. Granny's?"

"Eight o'clock." Killian nodded with a happy grin. He checked his watch. "Oh, I have to go. Gotta stop by Dave and help him out with little James for a bit." Emma nodded. "I'll pick you up around seven thirty, okay? Oh, and it may serve a purpose if you dress up a bit. If you want." He winked, making her stomach do a summer sault.

Emma nodded, and watched him leave. He was so carefree without memories of her. So joyous. She was almost sad that she had to take it away from him at some point.

And she was angry. Because now it turned out that a large part of the pain and heartache he'd experienced before losing his memories, were her doing. She'd lead him on so many times.

Wasn't it better this way? Wasn't he better this way? He wasn't hurting so much anymore. He was happy. He had a place here. She had a place in his life, too. She even dared to hope that he was beginning to fancy her again. 'Fancy'...that was his way of speech. God, but she was pathetic.

Groaning, she let her head fall in her arms. She was lost and confused and she knew of one person that could help her, and he was with Killian right now, so she couldn't call him.

"Mom?" Henry's voice made her sit up, cold air hitting her wet cheeks (she'd been crying?) and she turned around.

"Henry!" she said, relieved. She stretched her arms out to him, desperate for a hug that he gave her gladly. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Me, too. How's Killian?"

"Still not remembering."

Henry shook his head. "Poor guy. Did you try True Love's Kiss on him?"

Emma snorted. "You know that doesn't work on memory loss, kid."

Henry shrugged, going over to the coffee machine to make himself hot cocoa. "I don't know, mom. It doesn't work if he doesn't remember loving you. But he does. Just not in his previous life. In this one."

"He doesn't love me like he did before, Henry." she said, careful to use the right wording. She didn't want to confuse herself like she did almost daily when it came to Killian's memory loss.

"I don't know." Henry mused, taking a seat in Killian's abandoned chair. "The way he looks at you when you're not looking...love-struck puppy comes to mind."

Emma burst into giggles. Killian Jones a love-struck puppy. That'd be the day. "Okay, kid." she said. "He's asked me out to dinner tonight. And to dress up for it." she blabbed suddenly, startling herself. Was this the kind of conversation one had with one's son?

Henry's face lit up. "Awesome! See? He likes you a lot, mom."

Emma shrugged. "I don't know, kid. I don't even know if I want him to have his memories back." There. Now she said it out loud, what she'd been thinking for days now.

Henry's smile vanished. "What? Why?"

"Because...have you seen him? He's so happy! So carefree! He wasn't like that before."

Henry shook his head. "He's not Killian. He doesn't remember that you love him, and he'd hate it. He'd want you to make him remember."

Wise kid. Emma shook her head too. "You're too wise for your own good, kid." she said, and Henry grinned widely.

"Go to dinner with him, mom. Just see what comes of it. But don't fight it just because you think it's wrong because he has no memories. If he kisses you, you kiss back. Who knows, maybe he'll regain his memories." he said, shrugging and standing up. "I gotta go, mom's going to teach me to make her lasagna."

Emma smiled, and hugged him. "Thanks for stopping by, kid."

Henry basically squeezed her against him. "It's True Love for you two, mom. Just try it." he said by way of goodbye and left then. Emma stared at the now closed door, biting her lip. Maybe Henry was right (of course he was, Killian wouldn't want to not remember her, not while she loved him). She had to take a chance on this one.

**-cs-**

He arrived at her house at seven thirty sharp, and for once he'd lost the pirate garb. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, black shoes and his eyes stood out, shining and beautiful. He still had that sex hair of his.

"My, my, Jones, you clean up nicely." she said, impressed when he kissed her hand. He smirked against her knuckles and she felt his teeth scrape accidentally over her skin.

"Thank you, milady. Oh, and you look quite marvelous yourself."

"Thank you." She'd opted for her dark purple dress that reached to mid-thigh and had a revealing neck-line. He asked her to dress up, and she delivered. He looked her up and down, his eyes shining with admiration.

"It's a great colour on you, love." he said with a dazzling smile. In moments like these, Emma forgot that he didn't remember her. He was so Killian, so familiar all the time. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" she shot back, making him grin. He offered her his arm and lead her away from her apartment. After two minutes, she noticed that they were in fact not headed for Granny's, but the docks. She slowed down a bit. "Is this the part where you kill me?" she said, her voice a little tight.

He smiled at her. "Emma, killing you would be a right shame. Besides, I'm not Captain Hook anymore. No, I changed the plan a bit. You'll like it, I promise."

She had no doubt. If he was half the man he used to be when he still remembered everything, he knew her well enough to know that. So Emma let him guide her to wherever they were going.

The Jolly Roger, it turned out.

While it was usually dark at the docks, now the road to and the ship itself were lit up with candles and Christmas lights. It looked extremely romantic, and Emma could feel her old uneasiness grow inside her. Killian noticed.

"I'm not the men from your past, love." he told her. She'd figured it'd be stupid to tell him that Neal was her ex and the father of the child Killian believed was Regina's. It was all so ridiculous and confusing, she was stuck in a web of lies to make sure he wouldn't go out of his mind.

"I know."

"I'm just your partner in...well, justice. And I like you, so I'm treating you with a dinner on my ship. I don't expect anything, darling."

But I do. Emma thought. It surprised her, really. She did expect something from him. Like he'd been all those months, years even, now she was pining for his affections. And for me it's more than 'like'. She wished she could say it out loud, but he'd no doubt freak out.

"Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger, milady." he said when he guided her up on the deck. There were candles and little lights everywhere. This was the top of a romantic gesture, yet he was downgrading it to 'I like you'. Maybe he was trying the waters.

"Join me?" he asked, gesturing to the table set for to on the middle of the deck. Emma nodded smiling, and Killian led her to the table, pulling her chair back for him. "See?" he said while he sat down on the other side. "Always a gentleman."

Emma snorted. "Alright, Jones." She looked up and caught him staring at her with a strange look on her face. "You okay?"

Killian started, shook his head and forced a smile on his face. "Fine, love. Just fine. Ah, there be our food!" Emma turned around to watch, to her astonishment, Henry and David come up on deck, with David holding two covered plates and Henry a bottle of wine. "They volunteered for the job, love. The kid likes you a lot, he says you're like his second mother." Killian chuckled, and Emma couldn't withhold a wince. Her eyes crossed Henry's, and they told her it was fine. Same for David. They were handling the situation to the best of their abilities.

"Here you go. I have to tell you that he made it himself." David said with a smile, and Emma raised an eyebrow at her pirate, impressed.

"Lass, I'm 300 years old. You pick things up underway." he said, smiling. "Thank you, Dave."

David and Henry left shortly after, leaving them alone. Emma felt at ease here, with him on the Roger. Dinner turned out to be salmon (apparently caught himself), and it was delicious. They barely talked while eating, simply enjoying each other's company. It almost felt like he was back, and remembering her.

When she finished her plate and put her cutlery down with a satisfied smile, Killian asked, "Did you like that?" He couldn't help himself. He had to throw an innuendo in there

But two could play that game. Emma clasped her hands under her chin, leaned forward a bit and whispered, "I loved it. Was it good for you, too?"

Killian's pupils dilated slightly, his lips parting a fourth of an inch as he stared into her eyes. "Aye. It was very good, if I do say so myself." He continued to study her face with great interest, and suddenly, Emma felt uncomfortable. There was something on his mind. "I've been having dreams about you, love." he suddenly blabbed out, his eyes widening once he realized what he'd said. "I - uh, my apologies, that was inappropriate. What I meant to say was that I've been having dreams...about you."

Emma was frozen in her seat as questions flew through her mind. What kind of dreams? Memories? Just stupid dreams? She had to know. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw the beanstalk that I climbed to get the compass. Except you were with me. We bonded. I saw Neverland and Dark Hollow. But instead of it being just Bae and me, you were there as well. You saved me from the shadows." Killian's eyes were turning more and more glassy as he spoke and Emma couldn't interrupt her, because these were memories. His memories, of her. Just like she'd experienced that one year, the dreams were not actually dreams, but memories. "The Echo Caves where I confessed..." He frowned. "I can't even remember what I truly confessed there, but in the dream it was that I'd kissed you, and that it'd exposed something..." He shook his head, rubbing his face. "Tell me I'm not going out of my mind. Tell me it's normal for a man to place the woman he fancies into his memories when he's asleep." He sounded desperate. "Because you're always there. The moment I close my eyes, all I see is your eyes, your smile, your hair. All I hear is your beautiful laugh. And my dreams are...you're just always there, and it's driving me insane."

Emma looked at her plate, unsure what to say now. He'd just poured a part of his heart out to her. "Killian, I - " she tried.

Killian suddenly rose, walked around the table and he went to his knees in front of her. "Who are you, Swan?" he said, looking in her eyes with a pleading look.

"I'm Emma. Just Emma." she said hoarsely.

He lifted his hand to touch her face, his eyes widening in wonder. "Every time I touch you, a spark goes through me, and I can't help but feel like I've touched you a million times before. Every time I see you, it's like I've known you for far longer." He pulled her closer, pressing his forehead to hers. "Why do I feel like that, Swan? Why do you do this to me?"

Because you're remembering and because I'm selfish, she thought. "Killian..."

"What happened to 'Jones'?" Killian asked, and Emma became flustered. She'd let Killian in and forgot to use his last name. "Swan, tell me that I'm not going crazy."

"You're not going crazy." Emma said, because that's the only thing she could say.

Instead of pulling away, Killian surged forward, pressing his lips passionately to hers, his hand in her neck and his hook resting on the back of her chair. Emma couldn't help but kiss him back. This was their first since New York (which didn't really count) and it filled her with warmth and joy.

Suddenly, Killian gasped and pulled away, staring at her for a moment before opening his mouth in astonishment. "Emma..." he whispered, and his voice was different than before. "I remember. I remember everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos feed my muse, and she's a hungry lass. If you would take a moment, it'd make my day!


	4. Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final instalment of Forget Me Not. I hope y'all enjoyed it. Fair warning, this is smut. Loving, sweet smut, but smut nonetheless.

_"Emma..." he whispered, and his voice was different than before. "I remember. I remember everything."_

* * *

 

Emma stared into his eyes, shocked and searching for lies, but there were none. She was looking at Killian, her Killian.  _He remembered_. "Killian." she whispered, flinging her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. His arms came around her back, squeezing her tightly against him and he buried his face in her hair.

"Oh Emma..." he sighed, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just...I overheard you and your Mum talking and I thought...the pain was too much, Emma, my Emma."

 _My Emma_. It sounded so good. She belonged with someone. That someone considered her his. And she considered him hers. "No, no,  _I'm_ sorry. I waited too long. I should've told you sooner." She loosened her grip to look at him. "I love you, Killian Jones. I don't know why I waited so long to admit it."

His eyes were shining brighter than the lights behind him when he smiled, and Emma felt her heart contract. He was back, he was completely and truly back. "So...True Love's Kiss really did work, huh?" he said with a wicked grin, and Emma rolled her eyes.

"That's because you grew to love me in the past six weeks."

Killian nodded, biting his lip. "Indeed I did." he whispered. "You pull me in, Swan, whether I remember our adventures before or not. I've never felt anything like it." She wished he would stop biting that lip, it was doing things to her.

"I'm glad you're back." she said, finding her voice hoarse and small. Was she...going to cry? Nope, no way, not happening. She swallowed a few times, but of course Killian had already heard it.

"Me too, love." he said, stroking her face gently. "However fun the past few weeks were, it was hell without my memories. It's so strange looking back on those weeks and not remembering you, yet I remember you and..." He frowned and stopped talking. "Is this how you feel? About that year?"

Emma smiled. "All the time. I try not to think of it, but you just had two years changed. I had almost 12 years altered, and it's a confusing mess sometimes. You'll get used to it." His arms were still around her, and he was still crouching in front of her, and Emma felt so secure in that embrace. As if nothing would ever touch her.

"I do hope this is more than a one-time thing, lass." he said looking at her with piercing blue eyes, making her blush.

"Not this time. This time you're stuck with me, Jones." she said teasingly.

"Oh, cursed be my fate." Killian responded sarcastically, before he got serious. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Emma." Then he leaned in and kissed her again, his lips melting with hers perfectly, his hand going to her neck again, but this time it started to travel down her neck, over her collarbone, her breast where he lingered just a second before he moved his hand all the way to her hips, where it settled, his fingers digging into her flesh, making her gasp. The entire movement had left goosebumps in its wake, and it'd turned her on in the process. She wanted Killian, now. All of him.

"Did you plan on having David and Henry back here for a dessert?" Emma gasped, and opened her eyes to look at him.

"My plan was to go to Granny's for the cheese cake you like there. But that was cursed me. Right now, if the lady agrees...I'd like to have you for dessert." His voice got significantly lower (and hotter) while he spoke, and Emma shivered.

"She agrees." she said, her breathing laboured. With a grin, Killian rose to his feet, pulling her with him. Before she knew what was happening, she was pressed against the mast, his body close against hers and his lips moving deliciously on her neck and down her cleavage. Her fingers tangled in his hair as her head fell back against the mast and her eyes closed in pure pleasure. Everything he did was turning her on even more; his hot mouth doing delicious things to her breasts, his scruff tickling her, his hand and hook holding her tightly against the mast. "Oh God, Killian..." she murmured, his lips setting her skin on fire.

"Permission to take you to my quarters, milady?" he asked breathlessly, looking up. His eyes reflected the little lights to her, and they radiated love and hunger for her. All for her. The amount used to scare her, but not anymore. Now it warmed her to her core.

"Granted, Captain." At that, he grasped hold of her hips with his hand and wrapped his hook arm around her waist. Without having to say it, Emma knew what he wanted. While his hand and arm supported her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and was surprised at his strength as he walked them to his quarters. He kicked the door open and pushed her against it the moment it was shut again.

"This dress...I like it." Killian growled against the shell of her ear, making her shiver.

"Then don't ruin it, because I do, too." Emma groaned, running her hand through his hair. Smiling, he pushed it up her body, holding her steady with only his hips and the door.

His fingers were gentle and soft as they moved over her body, like a painter would over a fresh canvas, discovering every dimple, every scar, while he kept pushing the dress up and up, until it was completely off and she was just left in her black lacy underwear. She undid the clasp of her bra, foreseeing complications if he would try to do it, and let it fall off her body. His breath caught in his throat.

"Gods, Emma, you're so beautiful." he whispered, before leaning in and taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking and lapping gently, and she moaned. She had no idea why she'd put this off so long, this was already the best lay she'd ever had.

He was attentive, loving, very intent on giving her pleasure, and she loved every minute of it...she just needed more. She let her hands slide down his body, undoing the buttons of his white dress shirt one by one, until it was hanging open loosely. "There. Although it's not much of a difference from how you usually reveal your chest..." teased Emma, which earned her a soft bite on her nipple making her yelp.

He grinned, pressing his hips harder against her, making her gasp as his hardness pressed against her core. "Didn't think you'd notice, love." That's when he turned around and deposited her on the bed on the other side of the cabin. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking gloriously bare-chested as he stared at her lying on his bed. The way the bulge in his pants grew and his eyes widened, it was quite a turn on for him.

"Undress." Emma said, pointing at his pants and jacket. "Now."

With a grin, Killian obliged, as fast as he could while Emma marveled at his body. He was gorgeous (she had to admit, she had a thing for chest hair), even with, or maybe because of, all the scars. It made him all the more beautiful to her.

Her entire body was buzzing with excitement, and need for him, and it increased the moment he stepped out of his pants, revealing all of himself to her. She broke into a smile; he was so gorgeous, she couldn't even put it into words. She loved him so much.

He saw it in her eyes, making him smile, before he crawled up on the bed towards her, kissing his way up her leg, her stomach and breasts, her neck and eventually her lips when he covered her entire body with his. Her body was on fire, her mind and heart racing. After all these weeks of waiting, he was back at last and they were finally together. She was finally giving in to the fun. Her hands raked up and down his back, her nails digging into her skin every now and then, making him hiss.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling his hips against hers. He brushed passed her slit and her back arched in pleasure. Right there, there is where she wanted it, him. She was more than ready, they both could tell. "Gods, I wanted to take my time with you..." Killian groaned against her lips, and she smiled.

"Next time, Captain. I'll let you do whatever you want next time, just get in me,  _now_."

He grinned devilishly. "I'll hold you to that, love." he said, before he positioned himself in front of her entrance. The anticipation was buzzing between them, putting her on edge, making her extremely impatient. He looked at her, his hand stroking through her hair and his hook placed deliberately beside her head, his eyes full of love and hunger. "I love you, Emma Swan." he whispered, and then he slid home in one smooth movement.

Emma wished she had the right words to describe this feeling. She felt whole, complete,  _like she belonged_. It was an entirely new experience, and Emma couldn't be happier.

"Emma, love, am I hurting you?" Killian asked softly, running his finger over her cheek to wipe away tears that she hadn't realized had fallen. He'd stilled completely, ever so worried.

Emma shook her head, smiling. "No. No, Killian, not at all. I just feel so...happy. And loved. I love you so much." She took his head between her hands and kissed his lips softly. He melted into it completely, and he released his breath slowly. But then he started to move, and they both quickly found a comfortable pace that they loved, and Emma felt everything so deep inside her that she almost burst. He fit so perfectly that it was almost ridiculous. He was huge, yes. Much bigger than any of the man she'd been with, but not so that it hurt. It was perfect.

Everything was perfect. His mouth never ceased kissing her wherever he could reach her, his scruff tickling her neck while his hand was on the other side, holding her, caressing her, while he moved inside her so surely, as if he had done this with her so many times before. He knew exactly what she liked and what she wanted. She was in heaven.

"Emma, Emma..." he murmured in her ear. "You're so bloody perfect. Marvelous. Are you almost there, darling?"

Emma nodded, her mouth open in pure pleasure. Nobody had ever brought her to the edge so fast, and so good, not once forgetting her pleasure. All the men she'd been with, had always chased their own pleasure first, pounding away until they burst. Not Killian. No, Killian chased  _her_  pleasure first, once again putting her first like always. It still freaked her out a bit, but instead of pushing him away, she wrapped her arms around him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder as she whimpered his name.

"Are you going to come, sweetheart?" he asked in that silky voice of his, that made her shiver.

"Yes...yes, nearly there...almost." she whimpered, taking his thrusts, relishing in him.

"Then look at me, my Emma. I want to see your face when you come apart for me."

She pulled back enough so she could look into his eyes, as he started to push her over the precipice. He was beautiful. His electric blue eyes were darkened and stormy with uncontrolled lust, his muscles all over his body rippling as he moved on top of her, his hair messed up - as always. "I love you, Killian."

"I love you, too. Now come." he growled, grinding his teeth to hold back his own orgasm. On cue, her body tensed up and started to spasm, as she yelled out his name loudly, proclaiming her love for him over and over. "Gods, you're beautiful when you come." he whispered, before leaning down to bury his face in her neck. Three thrusts later, he came as well and he collapsed on top of her, his warm breath heavy. "Emma, you marvelous, perfect human being." he whispered in her neck.

Emma stroked his damp hair softly, her eyes closed. She was exhausted, but in the best way. Her entire body was still tingling with excitement and the power of her orgasm. "Thank you, Killian." she whispered.

With a grunt, he pushed himself up. "For what, love?"

"Everything." she said simply, pushing herself up to kiss his nose. "Just...everything." Their foreheads touched as they breathed heavily, both content, tired and happy. "I love you, I love you."

He groaned. "How long have I waited to hear you say that, Emma." He rolled off her with a sigh, before pulling her back to him, wrapping his arms around her. They lay in the darkness of the "I love you more than anything in the all the realms. I'll never leave your side, ever again."

Emma took his hand in his and kissed his fingers gently. He let out a shaky breath while he relaxed his hand completely so she could move it at her will. "Good." she whispered, flashing her back to a year ago at the town line.

He flexed his fingers, and then slid his hand in her neck again, kissing her forehead softly. "Sleep, my beautiful Emma. You are safe, you are loved. I'm never letting go."

She  _felt_  safe and loved, like never before. In his arms, she felt more comfortable than before. She buried her face in his chest. "Will you still be here tomorrow morning?"

She felt him chuckle under her. "Always and forever, Emma Swan, will I be by your side." With one last kiss, he pulled the blankets over their cooling, damp bodies, relaxed into the pillows and let her fall asleep against him.

She was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos feed my muse, and she's a hungry lass! If you could take a moment, it'd make my day!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos feed my muse, and she's a hungry lass. If you could take a moment, it'd make my day!


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